SHIFT - Out of Betrayal
3-Day Intensive for Men: Overcoming Deceptive Sexuality and Healing Betrayal by SHIFTing out of Shame and Harm, and Building Integrity, Fidelity, and Trust
Using the Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma (DST) framework developed by Dr. Minwalla.
THERE IS HOPE
Using the Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma (DST) framework developed by Omar Minwalla, this intensive helps you:
Day 1: The Hidden Sexual Basement (Learning Integrity and Accountability)
Day 2: Her Voice (Building Empathy and Compassion)
Day 3: Stabilization (Harm Reduction)
What about her voice?
If you're the wife who found this page — maybe you're the one searching, the one who can't sleep, the one trying to figure out if he'll actually do the work — you belong here too. This intensive is for him. But the healing is for both of you, and you won't be left standing outside it.
The Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma Model
A framework for the work that actually needs to happen
For decades, the standard story about sexual betrayal in marriage was that one partner had a behavior problem to fix and the other had the harder job of forgiving. That story missed something. It missed her.
The Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma Model, developed by Dr. Omar Minwalla over more than twenty years of clinical work, names what was missing. It treats deceptive sexuality as a two-part problem — the compulsive behavior, and the patterns of integrity violation, gaslighting, and relational harm that surround it. And it takes seriously what happens to the partner who has been living inside that hidden reality without knowing it. That experience has a clinical name now: Deceptive Sexuality Trauma. It has phases. It has injuries. It has a shape that can be seen and worked with.
How we use this model at Arizona Family Institute
Our team has been trained directly by Dr. Minwalla — not through a weekend workshop, but through ongoing clinical mentorship and supervision. That training shapes how we practice every day.
We hold a few things firmly.
- Reconciliation without reality is a second wound, so the work begins with seeing clearly — on both sides.
- Everyone involved deserves integrity and the opportunity to find a safe space for healing, integrity, and change.
- The marriage, the relationship, and their repair are treated as a third entity that needs safety and healing.
If you have found your way to this page, we are honored you are here.
Sign Up Now for a Consultation CallYour Intensive Facilitators
With over 50 years of combined experience, Dan, Jeni, and Mark are experts in helping and healing from deceptive sexuality.
Dan Oakes MEd LPC
Jeni Steele LPC
Mark Bell LMFT
What three days together actually looks like
This is not a conference. It is a small group of men in one room, doing structured clinical work alongside experiential integration. The pace is deliberate. Everyone deserves dignity. The body is part of the work, not just the mind.
Over the three days, the group walks through:
|
The two-system disorder underneath deceptive sexuality — what is actually happening, beneath the behavior itself |
|
The iceberg — the visible piece above the water and the much larger piece underneath that almost no one looks at |
|
The three phases of what a partner lives through — covert, exposure, and the long aftermath |
|
The four critical injuries that deceptive sexuality produces in the person a man loves most |
|
Mountain Work — the central practice of the intensive: sitting with the full view of the harm caused. Not to be destroyed by it. To metabolize it. To be changed by it. |
|
A personal theory of change, written and spoken aloud before the group closes |
Parts of this are heavy. There is no point pretending otherwise. But the men who do this work consistently say the same thing on the last day: I have never been told the truth about myself this clearly, and I am not afraid of it anymore.
Intensive Details
SHIFT - Out of Betrayal
3-Day Intensive for Men: Breaking Patterns, Building Integrity
Where?
The Arizona Family Institute: 2500 S. Power Rd. Suite 120, Mesa Arizona 85209
When?
July 16-18, 2026:
We will begin at 8 AM on Thursday, the 16th, and end by 2:00 PM on Saturday, the 18th.
Who?
Men who struggle to heal their deceptive sexuality and heal their wives.
Can't make July? Tell us — we run these throughout the year, and we'll let you know the next date.
3 Day Intensive Cost
$4500
Fill out this form to register and get a consultation call. This is a private inquiry, not a commitment. We'll reach out for a confidential conversation to see if this intensive is the right fit — for you and your marriage.
What makes the SHIFT program different?
Click on these statements below and learn more.
SHIFT helps heal all who have been harmed.
SHIFT is the first in-person intensive that utilizes the Minwalla Model
SHIFT is both an educational experience and an emotionally moving experience.
Location of the Training
The training will occur at the Arizona Family Institute office. 2500 South Power Rd. Suite 120 Mesa, AZ 85209.